5 golden rules for choosing a good pizza

I love a well made pizza and tasted a ton from all over the world but these are a rarity in Cluj  (90% of them are just shitty) as the low cost food starts to flood the market. But my taste > yours anyway so if you don’t want to be a sucker and get the worst things possible on the Cluj pizza market….

  1. 1+1 pizza offers should be avoided at all costs.   If you like the pizza in these offers , fuck off – you are a fagot with very bad taste – go eat shit and die 🙂 It’s like recommending a good wine to a peasant.
  2. If the pizza comes with a clean base / sides. These were most probably made in an industrial  ovens and/or pizza trays. Please go to those pagans and tell them to fuck their pizza and their oven and that they should remain at making soups and tocanitas. If you don’t make the difference in taste between a pizza made in a  dedicated brick pizza oven (with wood made fire) versus industrial oven .. try other foods! Please! Even the wood used is important as it impregnates the pizza with the specific smell. I can make the difference easily between the two just by looking nevermind tasting.
  3. Be very cautious when you order/buy pizza from venues that have other type of foods. (a.k.a pizza not their main area of expertise). Their pizzas are not very good in general.
  4. Stay away from very cheap pizza ( A good price for one piece of pizza – medium size would be around 25-50 RON – depends on toppings). Cheap pizza means very cheap ingredients. And you don’t want that shitty Carrefour 5RON/KG bacon now do you fagot? 🙂
  5. Don’t believe anyone when they say pizza from (insert venue here) is best. Most people have shitty taste anyway – that is one of the reasons so many amateur pizza makers are alive now. Because cheap and shitty people buy their cheap and shitty products.

 

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